The 4 Kinds of Support you Need to Grow (#NoMatterWhat)
Growth isn’t magic. Whether we’re talking about personal growth, professional growth, company growth or anything else, it happens with the support of others. This is what I affectionately call your Street Gang. Not because I’m suggesting any illegal activity (obviously), but because you want to build a group more committed to your growth than your feelings, more committed to your results than your reasons and more committed to your potential than anything else.
A good Street Gang can be made up of anyone: your friend, your boss (especially if you have a really great boss), your coworker, your spouse, your parents, your internet pen pal—kidding, not a pen pal—but you get the idea. What’s important is the role they play for you. And there are four key roles that need to be filled in order to grow.
The Inspirer
Inspiration will help you step out of the day-to-day to see the big picture of where you’re going and all the potential within the journey. That new perspective brings feelings of hope that change is possible, faith that you’ll figure it out and optimism that it will go according to plan (especially important when you’re committing to goals bigger than you can see how to accomplish right now). Most importantly, they see the potential in you that you may have a hard time seeing yourself. No matter what storm you may be going through, you can bring your problem to The Inspirer and they will be your life-jacket to help you get through it.
The Mentor
This Gang Member offers their time, experience and wisdom, to provide you with a clear, smart and well-considered direction on your path to success. They also bring a strong network of valuable resources and connections to this role. All successful people—all that I know of, anyway—have a mentor. Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook had Steve Jobs. Oprah Winfrey had Maya Angelou. Bill Gates had Warren Buffett. Who will you have?
The Muscle
You need accountability to grow and this person must bring that to the table. They will keep you responsible for commitments, performance and actions, and have zero interest in your mood or what you feel like doing. The Muscle might be the first person you share your goals, dreams and commitments with so they can help keep you on track. Better yet, if they can help you break down your progress into monthly, weekly or even daily accountability to get there.
The Heart
The Heart is the member in your Street Gang who will remind you that you’re accepted for exactly who you are. The Heart gives you the strength and courage to move forward knowing that there will always be a safe place of absolute acceptance to which you can retreat when feeling raw and vulnerable from exposure. The Heart brings empathy, encouragement and safety to your Street Gang. If you are determined to move through discomfort (the core of growth), there will be pain. But pain is less painful when we believe we are safe. And maybe the only reason we can get through it. That’s why The Heart is such an invaluable member of your Street Gang.
Who are these people for you? Don’t default into roles you already have in your life – assuming just because you have a boss you have accountability for example. Make these roles formal… Invite the person you want to fill a role to a zoom, a coffee or meeting. Share with them your commitments, share with them your worries, challenges, discomforts and ask for their support. If they agree, ask them to be in your gang. Don’t make it weird, just tell them Sterling sent you.
If you don’t have people immediately available that you want to fill a role, join me in the #NoMatterWhat Community on Facebook and ask for support there. We’re regularly matching people up with others to make sure they have the people they need to grow. I invite you to create a post sharing what you’re dealing with, aiming for and/or looking for support with. If you’re shy, you can always DM me and I’ll get you pointed in the right direction.
We grow not despite those around us, but because of them. It’s their support in the form of inspiration, accountability, love and mentorship (or lack thereof) that will enable us to produce results. You don’t need the perfect person. You need a person or persons to fill these roles, #NoMatterWhat.
You will always grow from there.