Your Biggest Breakthrough from the Most Unexpected Place
Are you one of those people that gets anxious before standing up to share in a meeting? Can’t stand waiting for an answer?
Or agonize over a relationship looking for positive affirmation?
Maybe those feelings you have before meeting the unknown – in all its forms – are what’s between you and the results you really want. Maybe the greatest thing you can do to create a breakthrough is not doing anything at all… That’s right, your biggest breakthrough yet might very well come from learning to sit in the unknown.
In countless studies, researchers have discovered an element of unpredictability increases a person’s discomfort. In an experiment that looks like it’s out of the original Ghostbusters movie, participants are delivered a harmless, but painful electric shock to the skin at different levels of expectation (100% of the time, 50% of the time, etc.). Rationally, a 50% chance of getting a shock should lead to lower anxiety about receiving one. But that’s not what happens. People are more anxious about receiving a shock 50% of the time than if they’re guaranteed to be shocked! People seem to be more concerned with the threat of physical discomfort – the unknown and unpredictability – than any physical discomfort itself.
It gets worse… some of those same studies have shown that many will sacrifice things that they want (financial gain, positive emotions, relationships, etc.) in order to avoid the discomfort of the unknown altogether!
WHAT?
The majority of people will sacrifice what they want to avoid the unknown. The unknown (or better said the avoidance of it) is driving what may be some of our most critical moments. Rather, we jump to what we already know, find ways to numb the feeling or take ourselves out of unknown situations all together (if that sounds like the 3 discomfort defaults, you’re right). We’re left retooling, rehashing and reshaping everything we already know… And maybe wonder why we don’t have new results (not to mention breakthroughs). Without embracing the unknown, how can we have anything beyond what we already have? Without the unknown, you already know your results (pro-tip: you already have them).
So you probably can already see how acclimating to the unknown might help you. There’s one more piece.
Are you ready?
Most will attribute the unknown to a new relationship, a new product launch, a new team member, a new job, etc. All of that is unknown for sure, but there’s something more fundamental that we deal with: tomorrow. Or, more accurately, anything after right now – is the unknown. We cannot know what will happen next. We’re literally confronted with the unknown on a consistent basis. All the time. So whether you know it or not – conscious or unconsciously – that fundamental uncertainty very likely leaves you constantly seeking ways to squelch the constant uneasiness it creates.
If you don’t get acquainted with the unknown, avoiding the unknown will define you. Those things that you’re afraid of in the unknown – they’re always there. They’re driving you in the decisions you make, relationships you have and results you produce. But they’re masked as decisions and choices that you’re making. You are making them – but they might not always be aligned with what you ultimately want to achieve… It might just be to avoid discomfort.
Two things we can do about it. First, there’s a short quiz psychologists have used to get a sense of your “intolerance of uncertainty”. Here are a few questions from the scale – rate each question 1 (not characteristic of me at all) to 5 (entirely characteristic of me).
Uncertainty stops me from having a firm opinion
It’s not fair that there are no guarantees in life
Being uncertain means I lack confidence
Being uncertain allows me to foresee the consequences beforehand and to prepare for them
It frustrates me not having all the information I need
How’d you do?
Chances are, you’re putting some numbers up here so good thing research also shows the second thing we can do about it. We can practice. We can practice being in the unknown, being uncertain about something and sure enough – we get better at it. In other words – we can sit in the unknown. Just sit there. Let yourself acclimate to the uncomfortable feelings, the thoughts, all of it. As we acclimate to the consistent, persistent and omnipresent nature of uncertainty around us we’ll make better decisions, with less stress. Acclimating to discomfort (or better said, hunting discomfort!) will always yield greater results than innovation, capital investment, reorganization, reskilling or anything else alone.
Until you make peace with the infinite nature of the unknown, you’re infinitely limiting your peace. And your results. I know, I know – there’s always an email to send, new skill to learn, work-product to get finished up. I get it. But maybe – for just a few moments this week – don’t fill your time with busy-work or escapism. Just sit there. Sit in the unknown, don’t fill it. I think you’ll be surprised what starts to unfold for you.