Make This About What You Can Do For Others
We’re all being impacted by COVID-19. I have friends having to close their businesses. Others are being furloughed. I recently lost someone I used to work with years back. There’s so much that I’ve taken for granted, to some degree we’ve all taken for granted, that I’m now so consciously appreciative of. Stores with stocked product. Traveling to meet a new colleague. The hug of a loved one.
When we’re mired in chaos, uncertainty and fear of what might come next, there’s exactly one thing to do: support others. In more normal times, it’s easy to drown in the self absorption of only focusing on ourselves. And sometimes there’s necessity for that. However, when all is said and done, we find it’s exactly when we’re helping others that we ultimately help ourselves because that is where we find the roots of happiness, satisfaction, gratitude, love and joy intertwined.
It’s something that’s built within us — a core piece of our humanity that’s been recognized time and time again. Isable Allende said, “We only have what we give”. Buddha said, "If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.” Luke 6:38 in the Bible states, “Give and it will be given to you.”
It’s easy to forget that when we need help the most — that that's exactly when we’ll get the most from giving to others instead of focusing on ourselves. There’s science behind the idea. When we’re in survival mode, our attention is pulled toward what we need. When we support others, it actually refocuses us once again on the outer world where we can actually make a difference (vs. sinking into our worries). Evolutionarily we’ve been built for this because serotonin and other positive chemicals are released when we’re supporting others. When this happens it subdues fear and even prevents the release of other stress-response chemicals that impair immunity. Let me say that a different way: when we help others our immunity is measurably increased. We’re literally engineered to help others.
Refocusing by giving to others is so impactful that it has become a psychological trick used in the military and most high performance teams: they support others when they feel out of control, alone or powerless. The more stressful the situation, the more they look to support others. In doing so they make the team stronger, smarter and reduce the overall impact of whatever the stress might be.
Most notable in the COVID19 crisis is that there are so many examples of companies and people stepping up to help and support each other, often unprompted, during this pandemic. There are countless ways to support. You see it in businesses with companies like Suuchi overhauling their manufacturing from fashion lines to medical clothing and equipment. The NBA donating one million surgical masks to NYC. Apple donating over 50 million yuan to support hospitals and relief efforts in China. The list goes on and on.
Individually it matters even more. I receive a regular call from a good friend of mine just checking in on how I’m doing (professionally, personally, emotionally). It matters. Another friend is dropping off food on his parent’s doorstep so they don’t have to go out and risk getting sick. It matters. I just saw that the CDC Foundation has raised over 6 millions dollars from individual donations on Facebook. It really matters.
For as many stories as there are of people hoarding toilet paper or fighting over sanitizer, there are countless examples of families coming together. Neighbors reaching out. Complete strangers performing heroic acts of kindness.
I see quotes everywhere about how "we will get through this." We will. We will get through it together, better and stronger, as individuals, as communities and in our businesses, particularly when we’re focused on helping others first.