5 Ways to BE Grateful #NoMatterWhat
“Grateful” and “Gratitude” seem to be buzzwords this time of year, at least in the U.S. with Thanksgiving approaching. As popular as it is to say, “I’m grateful for…” it doesn’t always correlate with actually being grateful. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one (I’m right with you). As much as you might want to feel it, that sometimes elusive feeling of gratitude might be overshadowed by how difficult things might seem to be at the moment, differences in opinions, or maybe even the overall stress of the holidays.
It got me thinking… if you want to be truly grateful, what are some practices to actually be that way? To be that way through the difficulties, disagreements and stress of everyday life. In other words, how can you be grateful #NoMatterWhat?
There’s a tremendous body of work and countless resources on the subject of gratitude, but from my own experience, personal study, research and work with leaders around the world on this topic, there seems to be 5 ways to best cultivate gratitude.
Verbalize gratitude. When I was growing up, I remember at our family dinners we’d always intentionally talk about what happened that day. The good and the challenging. An important part of the conversation is what we were grateful for regardless of the circumstances that day. It’s a practice I’ve continued with The Five-Minute Journal. It turns out that verbalizing (or writing down) what you’re grateful for on a consistent basis can be extremely powerful in shifting yourself to being and feeling more grateful, even if you’re doing it by yourself.
Help someone in need. Helping someone or giving to someone in need gives us an immediate and tangible reminder of how well off we are, however challenged. Countless studies demonstrate how helping others not only increases an individual’s feelings of gratitude, there’s a notable increase in health, happiness and it even improves self-esteem.¹ Seems like a no-brainer to me, not just during the holidays, but all the time.
Say thank you. When someone does something for you, thank them! Easy to say, but just as easy to forget. It matters to us and our subconscious — if it’s not important enough to say thank you, is it really that important to you? And not just to others either… thank yourself for what you’ve overcome, the results you have achieved, or even for things like not fighting with an in-law over the family meal.
Pause. The pace of the world seems only to be accelerating these days, doesn’t it? My phone wants to give me more reminders than there are minutes in the day! Being caught up in the countless things there are to learn, do, and worry about daily doesn’t lead to a very good place. Take a moment to pause. Reflect in a meditation. Take a few deep breaths. Have a meal without any distractions. Or simply sip that coffee for a few minutes savoring the flavor. Slowing down connects you back with your human senses and the incredible experience we get to have that may often be overlooked or taken for granted.
Commit to gratitude. Committing to things makes them infinitely more likely to happen (and you already know, it’s the second step in the #NoMatterWhat system: Get a Tattoo, commit so deeply there’s no going back). Commitment to being grateful actually programs our minds to pay more attention to what there is to be grateful for. Try it. Take a moment right now, if you dare, and commit to being grateful to yourself. It might make all the difference in your actually being grateful this time of year and any time of year.
Grateful people are happier people. So says the Mayo Clinic.² Grateful people are healthier people. So says Berkeley University.³ And grateful people experience fuller, richer and more meaningful lives. There are countless reasons for it, and countless ways to experience it, these are just a few. What other ways do you cultivate gratitude? Tell me in the #NoMatterWhat Community where, this week, we’ll talk about gratitude practices — and dig a little deeper to more mindfully recognize, acknowledge and appreciate gratitude, both in and for yourself and others.
Anyone can say they’re grateful. That’s not the point. This isn’t about virtue signaling how grateful you are — it’s about actually being that way. Aligning what we say to who we are and what we live out in the world. I’m willing to bet that from your own experience you know how important gratitude is, this is just a small reminder to step into it even more intentionally.
¹ Post S. It’s Good To Be Good: 2014 Biennial Scientific Report on Health, Happiness, Longevity, and Helping Others. Int J Pers Cent Med. 2014;2:1–53.
³ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_gratitude_good_for_your_health