The Three Discomfort Defaults in Your Way

Discomfort is in your way. It’s not money, time, your job, your company, your team, your personality, your culture, the market, inflation, or the world that’s in the way of the results you want. What determines your results is one thing only: how you deal with discomfort. 

They teach many things in school, from arithmetic to poetry, but they don’t teach you about the three ineffective ways many of us automatically deal with discomfort. I call them the three discomfort defaults. The three ways we naturally respond to discomfort that are damaging to our results in the long term. I ended up learning that the hard way. Now, you don’t have to… 

Denying.

The first ineffective way of dealing with discomfort is denying it. Refusing to acknowledge it. Pretending that everything is ok, when deep down there’s something telling you that it’s not.

Avoiding. 

Avoiding discomfort is knowing you need to confront something – but putting it off or looking for ways to numb it. Either you’re putting it off until tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow like Shakespeare or you’re drowning those sorrows with a numbing agent of your choice. (and yes, I am including an addiction to work as a numbing agent). 

Surviving. 

Surviving discomfort I actually think is the worst. It’s shutting down just to get through something. Putting up a facade that everything is ok when it’s really not at all. Usually when you’re surviving you might feel anger and frustration. I get that. I’m right there with you and I struggled with it deeply over the years. 

Do you see yourself denying, avoiding or surviving something in big ways or small? 

Here’s the problem. When we avoid, deny or survive discomfort, it stops us. It’s like a governor on your car – no matter how hard you hit the gas, you just can’t go any faster. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t get any new results. 

A Norwegian study found that ineffective ways of dealing with discomfort (the discomfort defaults) left people “unable to act in accordance with the knowledge they possessed”. That means: you may know exactly what to do – but discomfort stops you… 

You know how to lose that weight – but discomfort stops you. 

You know how to make that sale – but discomfort stops you. 

You know what’s necessary to reach that next level – but discomfort stops you!

Now, I get it. Discomfort can stop all of us from time to time. But once you recognize that it’s the discomfort that’s in your way – not the money, the time, the education, the know-how or anything else – you can do something about it. And if you’re not sure what discomfort is in your way, check out the Hunting Discomfort Quiz; 15 questions to discover what’s in the way and what to do to get it out of the way.

#NoMatterWhat it is. 

Confronting discomfort isn’t easy. But it is worth it. And it is the pathway to the results you want personally or professionally. Haven’t you had enough avoiding, denying and surviving? If you’re looking for a sign that now is the time to draw a line in the sand: this is your sign. Set those discomfort defaults aside and let it rip. You know where to find me if I can help.