Leaving your Comfort Zone isn’t Enough
Growth requires leaving your comfort zone, sure.
But that’s not enough.
The truth is that there’s another equally important component that is often left out. There seems to be enough uncomfortable situations out there for all of us. If discomfort was all it took… don’t you think you would have grown already?
I was coaching the head of sales at a startup I’m involved with after a tough week. The company was heavily impacted by the Silicon Valley Bank crisis, their sales were significantly behind projections, he’s in the final crunch for a masters degree, and he had a very serious health scare within his family. He described the moment as not just a low point, but a rock bottom.
We’ve all been at a place like this right? Discomfort is heaped on discomfort to a point where it feels like you’re being ripped apart from the inside… If discomfort was all it took, you’d be growing like crazy in these situations. But they’re often just super uncomfortable, stressful, and maybe even downright painful.
You’ll feel the most discomfort right before you break through it. And it’s where you need what I think is the most important part of growth (and the #NoMatterWhat system).
Surrender. Not give up and sit on the couch watching Netflix. But active surrender. Intentional acceptance of things exactly as they are and exactly as they’re not.
This is where you actually grow from discomfort. You surrender. Opening your mind to new perspectives, new ideas and maybe even new realities... You surrender: softening your heart to those uncomfortable feelings and letting them pass through you. Leaving you forever free of that discomfort.
The head of sales I was coaching had to surrender to the fear that their business bank accounts might be inaccessible. He had to surrender the anxiety about being behind in sales. He had to surrender his worry about a family health situation.
As Carl Jung, arguably the father of modern psychology, said, “We cannot change anything until we accept it”. Condemnation…[about how much money you have, what sales you’ve made, what budget you have access to, the team you’re working with, the economy you’re in, etc.]... does not liberate, it oppresses. It makes it hard to do much else, maybe even impossible.
I told you some of the things the sales leader I was coaching was working to surrender. What might you surrender to free yourself from discomfort? Is it a story? A belief? A habit? A pattern? A fear? A resentment?
This stuff isn’t easy. I worked through all the discomfort with this sales leader to a point where at least the seeds of growth were planted. The company once again has access to their bank funds, the health scare is over, and there’s a retooled plan for sales and his schedule. But all of that came from surrendering to the discomfort he was moving through in a way that left him bigger and more capable than before… That’s growth. And if anything like these situations ever happen again, he’ll be in a stronger position to deal with it.
You can surrender to discomfort alone (afterall, it’s only you that can do it). But it really helps to work with someone you trust to distinguish the discomfort and actually move through it with you. The #NoMatterWhat Community on Facebook is full of people that can support you. And if I can help or at least point you in the right direction, drop me a note and we’ll talk.
Look, I don’t think discomfort alone is going anywhere for any of us. It seems to be a fact of life that we’re pushed out of our comfort zone at least from time to time. But instead of avoiding it, fighting it, or just trying to muscle your way through it… I invite you to surrender to discomfort.