Your Safe Space isn’t Enough

Growth is when the formerly uncomfortable becomes comfortable.

Just the other day I hosted a virtual keynote – and found myself remarkably relaxed, a stark contrast to my past self for whom public speaking was a debilitating fear.

What changed?

In many places today, I see so much emphasis placed on creating psychologically safe zones. These are  “separate” havens, often deemed essential, where individuals can express themselves freely and without fear. I love that so much for all of us as we need that safety, but these zones are only solving half the equation.

The real game changer lies in our ability to expand the boundaries of these zones for ourselves—to stretch the perimeters within which we feel safe. It's about transforming the conversations, places, and topics that once made us squirm with discomfort into subjects we can approach with confidence and ease. This isn’t just adaptation; it’s growth.

Developing real psychological safety doesn't mean staying in a static, comfortable bubble. It means developing the resilience and flexibility to handle more diverse and challenging scenarios. The once formidable becomes the familiar.

Growth doesn’t come from finding more zones of psychological safety, but growing the zones within which we feel psychologically safe.

My journey from a nervous presenter to a more confident speaker wasn't about making the stage safer. It was about making myself robust enough to see any stage as safe. A journey I’ll be on forever. 

By enlarging the zones within which we feel psychologically safe, we unlock new levels of potential. We enable ourselves to tackle more complex challenges, engage in more profound conversations, and navigate more diverse environments without fear. 

Growing our psychologically safe zones doesn’t come from avoidance or denial of the things that make us uncomfortable. But rather including, embracing and expanding beyond that discomfort, essentially making the uncomfortable, comfortable. 

So, let’s shift our focus slightly.

Let’s not solely seek psychologically safe zones.

But grow the zones within which we feel psychologically safe. In the end, the essence of growth is not in seeking shelter but in expanding it.

Key Idea |

Growth doesn’t come from finding more zones of psychological safety, but growing the zones within which we feel psychologically safe. 

Developing real psychological safety doesn't mean staying in a static, comfortable bubble. It means developing the resilience and flexibility to handle more diverse and challenging scenarios. The once formidable becomes the familiar. We don’t become more psychologically safe by avoiding or denying the things that make us uncomfortable. But rather including, embracing and expanding beyond that discomfort.

Takeaway |

Intentionally grow the areas within which you feel psychologically safe.

Build your Movement |

Are there people, conversations or situations you’ve been avoiding or hiding from?

How can you slowly expand into those areas?